January 23, 2008

Pictured: Sponsoring Rotarian Tina Strong, new Rotarian Sandra Davis, and Club President Harry Dilello

It began like any other pleasant and enjoyable Deposit Rotary Club meeting on Wednesday, January 17, 2008. After Joy Felber's wonderful lasagna for lunch, the meeting began as usual with the Pledge of Allegiance and the introduction of our guests from the Sidney Rotary Club, Bill Davidson and Gilbert Malerk, who spoke about the Rotary District Conference to be held in Owego in May. It was a particularly special day because we inducted a new member, Sandra Davis, who I am very proud to say is my assistant teacher at my dance studio. Sandra was warmly welcomed into the club by all the Rotarians present. There was absolutely no indication of the riotous hysteria that was to follow.

The day had been set aside as a Rotary Trivia game hosted by our own Stan and Sue Elinsky. Teams were formed and it was clear from the beginning that Team #1, under the leadership of Bob Clemens and including Nancy Zacharias, Tina Strong, Jim Ficurilli, Shelly Ward, Brenda Lee (who had printed out cheat sheets with answers), and the new Rotarian Sandra Davis, would stop at nothing until victory was theirs, resorting to desperate tactics of cheating, intimidation, and all around unsportsmanlike conduct. Team #2, led by Pete Hempstead, was made up of Bonnie Hauber, Leo Cook, Bill Waldron, Joe Esteves, and Frank Verdon largely behaved themselves, but didn't seem to know much about Rotary Trivia, unlike Team #3, led by Rick Zacharias, which included President Harry Dilello, Carol Newman, Ray Cornwell, and myself, who really deserved to win the contest, all things considered. However, it was difficult to tell who knew their Rotary Trivia best, since despite the noble of efforts of exchange-student-turned-scorekeeper Paula Mazepa to maintain an accurate count, mass corruption precluded any sense of fairness and justice. While we were thankful to the Elinskys for organizing the game, the couple ran Rotary Trivia like the Marcoses ran the Philippines, maintaining complete control with their power to haphazardly levy fines and capriciously changing the rules whenever they felt like it, preventing our poor team from the win we justly deserved.

Things quickly escalated into an out-of-control riot when Team #1, burned by one of the dictators' whims, mounted a full scale insurrection led by Nancy Zacharias, a normally lovely person, who unfortunately turns into an unusually vociferous, competitive, and down-right hostile combatant when Rotary Trivia doesn't go her way. Despite a panicked attempt to hold onto power in which demagogue Stan commandeered the clock, we all realized it was one o'clock. We were spared what seemed to be an inevitable display of gross carnage when the Rotarians left the meeting to once again resume their roles as responsible citizens of the community. Until next week . . .